|Caution: Try these blind date tips at your own risk! =)
- Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table.
- Repeat every third third word you say say.
- Stare at your blind date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly.
- Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about.
- Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.
- Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths.
- Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about themselves.
- When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.
- Without asking, eat off your blind date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.
- Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.
- Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.
- Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.
- Communicate in mime the entire evening.
- Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, where you have a you have a good view of all exits, and where you can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.
- Hold a debate. Take both sides.
- Slide under the table. Take your plate with you.
- Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato for you, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal.
- Speak in pig Latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, or just nonsense).
- If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite.
- Insist that the waiter cuts your food into little pieces. In a similar vein, insist that he take a bite of everything on the plate, to make sure no one poisoned it.
Now...are you ready for your own blind date?
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